Updated: Feb 24, 2020
Last Night I had a Pure Romance party and for the first time, I had a ton of friends show up. Let me explain why this is odd for me. I am big on hosting get together's at my house, but until this past year, I never had more than one or two people show up.
That fact will sound odd to people as I am such a people person. I love networking and meeting new people and expanding my circle. Here is the catch- I have a hard time letting people in so invites to these get together's I am sure came off as 'oh she just wants me to come shop'. Even if the get together had no company attached, I am sure people thought I was still trying to sell them something.
My social skills aren't the best. I moved every year of my life for a while and I had (have anxiety) so I am like a deer in the headlights with people. I am sure if we have talked or messaged I have over shared what is normal for acquaintances- that's just me, I have no filter and I apologize if I have or ever do overshare and it makes you uncomfortable. I still feel like I am in high school sometimes as I was teased a lot for being fat (I wasn't, I just had huge boobs and wide hips) and there were a lot of two faced people- I just never knew where I stood. I am naturally not very trusting so I don't let many people get too close anymore.
I am unlearning those behaviors. I have been blessed with a lot of women who have come in to my life the past few years who have been ever so patient with me. They are all simply amazing and I specifically have three locally who will come over to my house, they will sweep my kitchen or sit with my kids and play so I can have a second or simply come over to just 'be' here. There are more than those three who I talk with daily or weekly to just chat, check in, how's life, your husband did what?!, I need business input, etc. You get the idea.
I'm like the cat they picked up at the shelter who was beaten up and abused and doesn't know how to be a cat. They have been patient and have put out food and affection for me to take on my terms and are always around when I need some more. Sometimes , all I want to do is a check in every so often to make sure they are still there. Sometimes, I will literally be glued to them and just want to be held and comforted.