Updated: Feb 24, 2020
Today is a big anniversary of Independence. I'm not talking about America's, I'm talking about mine. Four years ago I was officially moved back home after my husband had left me. For my best friend. While I was pregnant with my son.
Wowza. That is something I have always been open about sharing in person but not something I have shared too much online. (Also- who has connections with Lifetime because I want a movie deal)
I was ashamed. I got married young and had a baby quickly- I already had a ton of people judging me. Soon after my daughter turned one, I was pregnant again, this time with my son. I was all sorts of stereotypes it feels like. Add in I was in direct sales. I was the PERFECT person to judge and I was a plethora of stereotypes.
Let me just say I know many of you are shocked in me sharing this; I am sure some of you are disappointed that I am writing a blog about this.
I wasn't the perfect wife. He wasn't the perfect husband. We were young and we were abusive in our own ways towards each other. In the end, the marriage ending was on him. But honestly? It was the biggest favor he ever did me besides giving me my children.
I have grown so much. I am so thankful for direct sales because they not only helped me pay for things financially, they helped me discover myself. I learned a lot about my sexuality. I learned that I live to empower others- in their own bodies, mentally, in their businesses. I learned how to do makeup and how to take care of my skin. I've learned how to dress. I have learned honestly so much. People love to trash on direct sales and there is a reason I take it so personally- with out direct sales, I would not be me. Without direct sales I wouldn't have the network of women I have in my life or my boutique.
So while many are celebrating America's Independence, I will be celebrating my own. I don't feel like I have come very far but the truth is the opposite. I have two happy kids. I am a year away from finishing my degree. I have had successful businesses and influenced peoples lives for the better (at least, that's what some of you tell me). Most importantly- I'm not the scared, broken down woman I was 4 years ago.
In the words of Lizzo-
'Cause I'm my own soulmate I know how to love me I know that I'm always gonna hold me down Yeah, I'm my own soulmate No, I'm never lonely I know I'm a queen but I don't need no crown Look up in the mirror like damn she the one
Happy 4th of July