Stripping Off My Clothing Armor

Growing up plus size meant that I learned some really bad habits about dressing myself early on. Hitting that 'woman' body at 12 and trying to stay in fashion was hard. I was in denial that I was a size 12/14 (thanks baby birthing hips that hit early in puberty) and because middle and high school are cruel arena's I ended up spending those years in oversized jeans and sweatshirts being told that I was fat when in reality I was pretty healthy. I was using baggy clothing as an armor against their words.

By the time that I was actually learning about fashion, I had two babies, was up multiple pants sizes, and didn't really know who I was as a person. Through clothing and businesses and spending time in self growth I was able to discover myself more as a person, but my fashion sense was still a step behind. How I was dressing myself didn't match the mindset I was trying to achieve, which then dragged down my mind. I was still prone to sizing up to cover my rolls, wore things that didn't match my body shape, and I wore plain simple clothing because I didn't want to pull attention to anywhere but 'my pretty face'. It was just a different suit of armor. I had a few items that made me feel AMAZING and I always had such great days in- both mentally and just life happenings. I realized then I really needed to learn about styles and patterns and more to dress myself better.


I started trying new patterns and prints. I pushed myself into styles that were out of my zone. And even still then, I realize now looking back, I was trying to cover up, but in more accurate sizing. I was buying things that flowed over my zones of worry- the areas that were bumpy and curvy and not smooth. I may have been showing confidence and smiling more, but I was just living in a new version of dressing myself in fashion armor. I was showing others how to cover themselves up- but fashionably. Was I really doing anything better?


At the end of March when I went through a business change up, I was exposed to my current company that focuses on vanity sizing, meaning as the size goes up, they adjust where and how things fit to actually accentuate and fit that body size better. It was a total game changer.


Even though I was gravitating towards styles that still covered me up, they showed and fit my body in a way no other items had! It started to give me the confidence to branch out into styles that weren't necessarily my style in a true sense. I started sizing DOWN to actually show my shape- my mom belly and all!